Girl On Girl Action is a Girl’s Best Friend
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I may not be the sharpest tool in the shed but over my thirty-six years here on this earth, I’ve learned one very important thing: Men like watching women kiss other women.
Madonna & Britney Spears, Scarlett Johansson & Sandra Bullock, Selma Blair & Sarah Michelle Gellar and Neve Campbell & Denise Richards are just some of the few infamous girl on girl action that have inspired men to drool and lose their sense of concentration, which, let’s face it, isn’t really all that hard to do.
As a woman, many men expect me to respond with a “Ewwweeee, I don’t get it! Men are icky!” and then fold my arms and not speak to my husband for an hour while he asks, “What did I do? I’m sorry… c’mon… talk to me.”
But here’s the thing, I AGREE: Women kissing each other IS pretty freaking hot. Women simply are more attractive than men. We’ve got more fun parts (yeah, you heard me), we have more clothing, make-up, hair options and we look, smell and feel prettier. Who doesn’t want to see two gorgeous creatures showing their sincere, physical appreciation of each other? It’s far more appealing to watch that than the news or any reality show. Make lesbian love, not war. That’s what I say.
Plus, as far as I’m concerned, girl on girl kisses being sexy is a pure fact and if some of the easily offended women out there would just accept this, we could even use it to our advantage.
For example, say two women have just finished a late night dinner in a somewhat rough neighborhood. The next thing you know – BAM – out pops a mugger. They have two choices: Give the guy their purses and jewelry or they could immediately start French kissing. If they should go for option two, my guess is the mugger would not only not rob them; he may actually give them all of his money.
In the market for a new car? Forget bringing your husband! Bring your most attractive girlfriend and when the salesman starts blah-blah-blahing about rust proofing and undercoating, start passionately making out with your friend on his desk. You’ll get the car for free, a lifetime warrantee and the salesman phone number.
This girl-on-girl option is so effective that you don’t even need another woman to be physically with you. If you’re boyfriend or husband is annoyed with you or is demanding to know why you did x, y or z - just start giving him some salacious tale about making out with another woman. “I don’t know what happened to your favorite shirt honey. I was ironing it like you asked but then I started thinking about that time in college when I made out with this really hot blonde…” And like that, you’re off the hook.
This tool is so powerful that I’m willing to bet all the money in my checking account that any man reading this article has already drifted off into some fantasy world where they are surrounded by women kissing other women and they won’t even make it to the last line of this piece.
So as long as it’s just us women, how about Heath Ledger and Jake Gyllenhaal in BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN? Seriously ladies! Yummmmmmy!
